This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
