our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
