Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize