I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
