dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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