Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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