you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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