so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
