I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
