reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
ok first of all what the fuck
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