quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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