chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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