Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
