y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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