Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
