my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
