Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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