For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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