my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize