How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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