I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
