weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
