your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize