I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Sorry about my life...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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