It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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