I am in a vortex of obligation.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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