theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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