i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
