I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
