have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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