After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
