I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
