unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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