Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
