butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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