I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
