It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
