he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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