I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
