she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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