She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
