I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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