People with herpes should wear stickers.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
