I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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