he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
