And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
