I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I don't deserve a penis
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
