did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
