Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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