Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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