i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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