so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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