Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
