I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
