Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
