I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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