i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
