Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
