Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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