Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize