If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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