not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
