My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
