Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize