You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
