i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
